Fierce Conversations

“Our work, our relationships, and our lives

succeed or fail one conversation at a time.”

Susan Scott

Dear people of Emmanuel,

A decade ago in my home diocese (Chicago), our bishop urged everyone to take part in workshops based on Susan Scott’s 2004 book Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life, One Conversation at a Time. I’m not sure if or how our diocese as a whole benefited, but I do believe that taking part affirmed and refined aspects of my own ministry and relationships.

Scott argues that the quality of our lives is inseparable from the quality of our conversations. She suggests that avoiding difficult conversations that should take place depletes energy and undermines trust. She urges interrogating reality and drilling down to unearth all contributing influences in a given situation. She plays with the image of a beach ball: the different-colored stripes represent the voices, views and interests of all stakeholders in a conversation. No one ‘stripe’ is the whole ball. How can we account for, listen to and benefit from all points of view?

Scott’s ideas come to mind now as we anticipate parish conversations planned for the coming two Sundays at 9am in the narthex. These will not be gatherings at which everything that should be said will be said. We won’t resolve or reach agreement about our stories of Emmanuel’s past or the parish’s future. But what if we do get an inkling of our readiness to ‘interrogate reality’? What if, as we ‘toss the beach ball around the room,’ we sense an atmosphere of exploration and hope more than one of avoidance and mistrust? Imagine coming away with more smiles than winces. Imagine prayerfully looking forward to further, positively fierce conversations in months to come.

The Rev. Patrick Raymond

Interim Rector